My inner monologue could kick your inner monologue's ass!

I have these moments when I totally crack myself up.

For instance:
The battery on my cell phone doesn't stay attached anymore. I need a new one, but until I get around to it, the battery is held on by a rubber band. (Which doesn't always work so well, so incidentally, this is why I accidentally hang up on people all the time.)
So, I get out of work yesterday and I get in my car and turn on said sad cell phone so I can call Bil and tell him I'm on the way home before hanging up on him unintentionally. I should also inform you, dated readers, that my cell phone is 3 years old. I could have gotten a new one years ago, but why bother? I like my phone (except for the hanging up part...although that does have its uses.) My phone takes a while to turn on, so I set it in my lap and start driving home from Skokie, singing along with my favorite Idol's b-side. The music goes into an instrumental bit and I started talking to myself (something I do all too frequently in my car: I tell myself stories about how I "accidentally" ran into some famous person or another and they instantly fall in love with me despite my bad hair/crooked teeth/crappy skin/crooked eyes, etc., or I discuss with myself the merits of one performer over another, or I come up with really good retorts to bitchy things people have said to me--you get the idea). So I'm discussing--with myself--how I liked George Huff's American Idol cover way better than the bits of his gospel album that he later released. Out loud. Alone. In my car. Not entirely cognizant of the fact that this is slightly crazy. And I look down in my lap and see that not only is my phone now on, but that it's recording all of this as a voice memo.
Here, I'll replicate the transcript:
ME: Badly singing...."You will find him everywhere. Wherever people live together, tied in poverty and despair. . . --ing it to the streets. Taking it...taking it... Really bad growl
Talking now, over the music Yeah, I definitely think George Huff's better as an over-produced pop singer than as a less-than-throaty totally-unsexy gospel singer... Oh my God I'm recording thi-----!"
So, I erased it. Because there are so many things wrong with that voice memo. But it definitely cracked me up. So then I was a person sitting at a red light, laughing for no visible reason in my car, and telling myself all about how I totally embarrassed myself IN FRONT OF NO ONE.
Sanity's totally overrated.

That is all.