Well...hmm.

So Bil just sent the following e-mail to Rob at http://www.cockeyed.com.

Dearest Rob,

My name is Bil -- long-time listener, first-time beggar. My wife and I are big fans, some of the biggest in the world (I am very big at 5'9", and she is enormous at 5'2"). We have a humble request, O Great Rob, but first I must elaborate.

I am running the Honolulu Marathon for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago (we live in Chicago, you see), and I have agreed to raise $3,400 for the charity. Unfortunately, if I do not raise the money, my wife will be forced to kill me. She is small, but she is fierce -- make no mistake. This would leave us both in a pickle, because the last thing I want to be is dead, and she would be stuck paying all of the rent.

Anyway, the AIDS Marathon Training Program has given me a small chunk of land upon which to build a pre-designed website. It's right here:

http://www.aidsmarathon.com/participant.asp?runner=CH-4173&Year=2006&EventCode=HN06

(You can get here by going to www.aidsmarathon.com, clicking on "Sponsor A Runner," then Chicago, then typing in either my runner number, 4173, or my name, William Gaines.)

We are starving artists trying to make a difference. Good, sweet Rob, if your readers knew about this website, surely somebody would donate a few dollars towards the cause of helping AIDS victims. Would you be interested in helping us out by linking to my site? We figure if one hundred people donate one dollar, that's one hundred dollars! And if 3,400 people donate one dollar, I live to run the marathon.

I, of course, would be extremely grateful. I would love to offer some kind of cash reward, but it's plain to see we have no money. I would offer one of my toes, but I need them to run the marathon. What I can offer is this: as I cross the finish line, I will cluck like a chicken and flash the universal hand sign for "Rock and Roll" before collapsing from exhaustion. Or, if you prefer, I will write "Cockeyed.com" across the ass of my running shorts and run the marathon advertising your escapades -- FOR 26.2 MILES.

Anyway, please let me know what you think. We'd love to hear back from you, even if you think we are crazy. Take it easy now!

Most sincerely,

Bil Gaines & his intimidating, diminutive wife, Devon

P.S. For additional suck-uppage, I thought I should mention: my grandparents live in the Sacramento area. I have many fond memories of that town.

Should we recieve a response, you, two readers, will be the first to hear (read?) about it. And I'll be able to say, "Remember, you heard (read?) it here first!"

Also, (Bil would like me to add) should you want to donate a dollar (or more?!) to Bil's fund, please proceed directly to the following site.

Also, you can read all about his exciting running exploits (including this week's story of how he had to pee for 6 miles) at his running blog located at http://www.myspace.com/runningfordough


Additionally, and somewhat more troubling, there is a mysterious song on my computer called "All the Photographs" by a band called Sea and Cake. I have no idea where it came from, and neither does Bil, and my computer says that it's been here on my laptop since the 13th of December 2003 at 8:10 pm. Curiouser and curiouser...

And now, my favorite part of the post: Taylor Hicks' Childhood Crush Responds to People Article
Sigh.

That is all.