Goddamn it!

Fucking A. I am so fucking sick of being poor. I was supposed to get paid today by UIC. I go out to get some lunch and check my balance at the ATM: $0.00. Nothing. It's direct deposit, which I totally don't trust, so I rush back to work to find out where my money is. I can't find the HR lady. Christ. So I go back to my office, think about how much I would love to eat lunch, then think about my lack of lunch-buying ability, and get back to work, hungry. I run into HR lady in the hall, who says, "I was wondering where you were; I need you to sign this paper so that your payroll can go through." I sign the paper then and there, and--bonus!--it says that before I have even gotten paid, I've gotten a 31 cent raise. Ok, that's cool. She tells me that she'll get back to me ASAP when she knows more about when I'll get paid.

I wait, mouth watering in anticipation of lunch. . .

And I wait.

And still, I continue to wait.

I send her a pleasant, but assertive e-mail requesting more information regarding when my money will come rolling into my account.

I get no response.

I go over to her office.

She's out somewhere (probably eating a nice delicious tasty lunch).

I drink some coffee.

And some tea.

And daydream of food.

I go over once again to her office. She's there! And she has no information for me. So I calmly draw and quarter her because I am enraged and hungry and want to cry with frustration. But then what I really said was, "And about how long does this sort of thing typically take to be corrected?"

And she replies in a long, drawn-out, roundabout fashion that it should only be a few more days. DAYS?!?!?! I thought we were talking hours. I am hungry now, and I'll be dead from starvation in a matter of days! And I'll owe the bank more than the sum total of my paycheck in a matter of days!@!!!! So, I (less calmly) told her that that was unacceptable. That I was counting on this paycheck. And I thought about the fact that I couldn't afford to live anymore. That I've been waiting on money from several different places and all of them have been slow to pay up. That I have dug myself into a fucking hole of debt to helping out other people. That I have been working 14-15 hour days most of the last couple of weeks on multiple jobs. That I have not been paid or reimbursed for anything since June and I have moved since then. And mostly that I am fucking hungry.

But what I said was simply that I needed the money. That it would be great if she let me know ASAP about it.

And she gave me some sob story about how she has all of these new employees and she was here until 8pm on Monday night getting all the paperwork right. And this is the worst time of year for new hires. And blah blah blah. And I really don't give a fuck, because I am standing in front of you, starving because you fucked up my paperwork.

So judge me all you want. I am angry. And I'm not sorry about it. I WAS GOING TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING TONIGHT! Goddamnit! I fucking hate bureaucracy and bullshit.

I'm going to quietly put my head down on my desk now and have a good quiet cry in my office. And I'm going to bill the bastards for time spent.

I'm too mad to post anything cheeky about Taylor Hicks.

GAH!

That is all.