Silent Sigh

I've been here not 5 days, and already I have made some interesting and frightening discoveries about the Geminis in my family. My immediate family. I don't know what to do. I have some very damning information about them both. Not that I want to hurt either of them or anything.... it's just that each in his/her own way is being very deceitful and now, I feel similarly because I am burdened with these secrets. I hate feeling like this.
I am sick from one particular discovery. I thought that we had moved past all this.

I guess I thought that people changed.

I was so wrong.

People don't change.

Alphonse Karr, a French writer, once said, "Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose." The more things change, the more they stay the same. So many things have changed during the last decade in my life, and still certain themes persist.

I wish I could go back to not knowing. Ignorance was bliss.

And knowledge makes me use overused colloquialisms. Life is truly not fair.

I don't think I have the capacity to forgive anymore. I reached my threshold for forgiveness in December of 1999. Take a number... we're running about 7 years behind schedule and there's quite a line... you might want to bring a sack lunch.

And you wonder why I trust no one? This is one of the big reasons. I'll never trust him again.

Confidential to my two readers: if this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, I apologize. I'm discombobulated right now... apparently I'm no stronger at 25 than I was at 15. This is not a comforting notion.

That is all.