Insert Clever Title Here

So, like, we leave for the airport in less than 5 hours. Laundry never got done (see comment on the previous posting), I'm completely fucking exhausted, and so naturally, I decided that now was a good time to shower and get rid of the winter coat on my legs so that I could walk around Honolulu and blind everyone with my paleness.
Here's the thing. I am, like, sooooo bad at being female in this society. I really don't know how to shave my legs without cutting myself to the point where I actually have scarring. Recently, I rediscovered the hair depilatory, a stinky, appalling chemical creation for "safely" removing unwanted hair. It's been updated so that you can scrape the depilatory from your legs with a razor-like device that has no blades. So it might be a burny, stinky process, but I cannot cut myself. Sweet. I got so into it that I decided to clean up the nether regions down-there area bikini line to beachy perfection. And then I got a little creative. I thought I might errr.... make it look a bit more interesting.
But here's the thing: contrary to popular opinion, I don't see too well without my glasses. So it's a bit off. Center. Like, really. And I fear I may have burned my legs et al with chemical evilness. Also, I have just discovered a patch on my shin that I totally missed. Shit.
But what's really scary? Bil doesn't even seem to have noticed it at all.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

That is all.