And still curiouser....

Not to scare those friends of mine who are moving here or anything, but this is the bulletin put out by the National Weather Service today regarding this weekend:

WINNEBAGO-BOONE-MCHENRY-LAKE IL-OGLE-LEE-DE KALB-KANE-DU PAGE-COOK-
LA SALLE-KENDALL-GRUNDY-WILL-KANKAKEE-LIVINGSTON-IROQUOIS-FORD-
LAKE IN-PORTER-NEWTON-JASPER-BENTON-
945 PM CST TUE JAN 30 2007

...COLDEST FEBRUARY TEMPERATURES IN OVER TEN YEARS EXPECTED THIS
WEEKEND...

FORECASTS CONTINUE TO SUGGEST THAT NORTHERN ILLINOIS AND NORTHWEST
INDIANA WILL BE EXPERIENCING A COLD SNAP WITH TEMPERATURES FALLING
WELL BELOW ZERO THIS WEEKEND AND INTO EARLY NEXT WEEK.

CURRENT COMPUTER FORECASTS SUGGEST THAT AIR NOW OVER NORTHERN CANADA
NEAR HUDSON BAY WILL BE CIRCULATING SOUTHWARD INTO THE UPPER MIDWEST
AND ACROSS THE WESTERN GREAT LAKES. ALTHOUGH TEMPERTATURES HAVE
BEEN ON THE COLD SIDE THE PAST SEVERAL DAYS...THE CORE OF THE
COLDEST ARCTIC AIR REMAINS IN CANADA. HOWEVER...A DISTURBANCE IS
FORECAST TO DIG SOUTHWARD INTO THE NORTHERN U.S. THURSDAY NIGHT INTO
FRIDAY ALLOWING ARCTIC AIR TO SURGE SOUTHWARD. THIS BITTERLY COLD
AIR IS EXPECTED TO ARRIVE FRIDAY INTO FRIDAY NIGHT.

OVER THE WEEKEND...LOW TEMPERATURES ARE FORECAST TO FALL TO AROUND
10 BELOW ZERO WITH DAYTIME READINGS STRUGGLING TO REACH POSITIVE
DIGITS. THE LAST TIME THE ROCKFORD AND CHICAGO AREAS EXPERIENCED
PROLONGED COLD OF THIS MAGNITUDE WAS IN EARLY FEBRUARY OF 1996. AT
THAT TIME...LOW TEMPERATURES AT ROCKFORD FELL TO 20 BELOW OR COLDER
AND DAYTIME HIGHS ONLY REACHED INTO THE 10 TO 15 BELOW ZERO RANGE.
IN CHICAGO DURING THIS SAME PERIOD...LOWS WERE 15 TO 20 BELOW AND
HIGHS WERE AROUND 5 BELOW ZERO.

AT THIS TIME TEMPERATURES ARE NOT EXPECTED TO BE AS COLD AS THE 1996
EPISODE...NONETHELESS...SUBZERO READINGS ARE FORECAST TO COMBINE
WITH WINDS OF 20 MPH AT TIMES TO PRODUCE DANGEROUSLY LOW WIND CHILLS
OF 20 TO 30 BELOW ZERO FROM FRIDAY NIGHT THROUGH MONDAY.


But at least in Barrow it feels like 34ºF BELOW ZERO. . .
Thanks Barrow for making me feel better and giving me something to blog about.
Yeah.

And a picture of warm lazy summer afternoons for you all:



That is all.

Curiouser and curiouser....

So every time that I feel like it's really fucking cold outside, I look to the weather in a little town called Barrow, Alaska to make me feel better about the weather wherever I am. You see, two readers, Barrow is the northernmost city in the entire United States.



I figure the weather's gotta be worse there well above the Arctic Circle than it is here, wherever here may be.

BUT:

vs.



Really Chicago? Really?

Fuck it's chilly. Good thing I just got back from a much-needed excursion to the bar.


And thus ends my post about the weather... this has been a truly shitty week.

That is all,

At Last...

I have successfully cleared out my e-mail box!

Success!




And because I love you all so much, here's a heretofore little-seen pic of awesomeness from the opening night party of Seascape... in the bathroom at Konak.... where I might have overdone it a bit:



And this is similar to how I looked after (but it's actually New Year's Day '07):



Ugh.

But at least I didn't look like this:






That is all.

Does it make me a nerd if....

I have a wee crush on a guy who hosts/produces a radio show on NPR?

Sigh.



❤❤❤

That is all.

5 Things

So, Kimberly tagged me with 5 things you may not know about me. So... it's like a challenge, right?

#1: When I was a very young child, I thought that Dr. Spock was Mr. Spock. So every time my mother consulted her Baby Bible, I envisioned Cpt. Kirk's right-hand man giving her tips on child-rearing.

vs.


#2: Also, when I was a young child I had, as many kids do, an imaginary friend. But this was not any made-up imaginary friend, this was the imaginary embodiment of Major Winchester from M*A*S*H the TV series. We had many romps before he pissed me off one day, and I threw him down the stairs and killed him off. And he never came back.

R.I.P.

#3: I am secretly obsessed with Alaska (the vast amounts of space, the history of the state, the mountains, ocean and glaciers, the last unspoiled American frontier, etc.), and will get there before I die. I will pretty much drop everything when the travel channel throws on a block of Alaska programming.


#4: I dream of learning how to fix engines so that I can buy an late '60's era VW Westfalia pop top and live out of it like a dirty hippie. (I may have been born 20 years too late).


#5: Reliable sources tell me that I was conceived on the day that John Lennon was shot outside of the Dakota building. (I took my sweet time getting out of the womb.)

R.I.P.

So, I guess those are my five things. Apparently I was far too influenced by TV as a child, and by James A. Michener's novels as an adult (especially Alaska and the Drifters). And I was born late.... not just 2 weeks late, but actually more like 20-30 years late. Also, I was a weird kid.

I tag Bil, who probably already knew all of this stuff, but needs to write something new for me to read on his blog.

That is all.

Huh.

So, I got home from my first two-show day in a long time, and started browsing on the 'net. Like you do. And after Googling exes and discovering that a jackass with whom I went to high school actually shares a name with some political dude named Steve Cohen... I looked up this guy I had a crush on for like 6 months in high school. Back then he was maybe 5'2 and had a rattail... you remember rattails, right?

But, in my defense, despite the fact that we were the same height and he had the rattail, he was really hot. Whatever. Anyway... he's a record producer now. Like on the way to really doing big stuff. And I thought, "Shit. I am such a loser. What the hell am I doing with myself?"

And then I thought, "I am dressing at Steppenwolf... which is really fucking cool. And I am making my mark, and I am working my way honestly up the theatre food chain..."

And then I looked a bit further and realized that without the contributions of said rattailed hottie's father, the world may never have seen the likes of the following albums: Michael Bolton's "Soul Provider," "Greatest Hits 1985-95," "Timeless: The Classics," "All About Love," and "Hits 1985-1995:Best of the Best Gold;" Kenny G's "Silhouette," and "The Ultimate Kenny G;" and Peabo Bryson's "Can You Stop the Rain," among others. This father of Hottie is clearly the devil. And therefore Hottie is clearly Spawn of Satan.

And I am totally working at the freakin' Steppenwolf. So, like, whatever. Sources say that Malkovich only smokes fancy expensive French cigarettes. Who knew?

That is all.

Son of A Bitch!

Shit.

That is all.

Mantra?

I refuse to be afraid. I can't do it. I live in a country that's constantly raising terror alert levels to "Orange" and telling us about these murky terrorist threats they are secretly averting and telling us that video games make kids violent and so do guns, and all of this fear.

FEAR: Kids!, Arabs!, Foreigners! (including the band), Nuclear Bombs!, Iran!, N. Korea!, Molesters in Your Neighborhood!, Creepy People on Myspace!, Cars on the Road with Enraged Drivers!, Vice Presidents on Hunting Expeditions!, Rapists in your Neighborhood!, Muggers!, Bank Robbers!, Rollerbladers without Wrist Guards!, Drug Users!, Drug Dealers!, Pimps!, Hoes!, Hose!, Saddam Hussein ('s ghost!)!, Osama Bin Ladin!, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!, Kim Jong Il!, Cancer!, AIDS!, Trans-fats!, the NSA!

We have been conditioned over the last 5 years to Live in Fear. I will not be afraid anymore. I will not. I am done. I cannot continue to live every minute of everyday afraid of all of the unknown elements coming to get me. There is no boogeyman and if he shows up to prove me wrong, I'll punch him in the nose. I am not afraid.

I will not be afraid of getting on an airplane, getting in my car, going out into the world, living my life. I refuse. That's not to say that I will live without caution; I have common sense. And while instincts are the key to our greater survival, fear is only something--to paraphrase FDR--to be feared. And I will not fear. And I will not be afraid. And if you don't like it, stuff it.

That is all.

WTF, Mate?

So I wanted to do a crossword puzzle, so I went to what I thought was a crossword website: www.dailycrossword.com.... and came to a site titled (and I shit you not) "Nuclear Jihad." So if I don't show up to work tomorrow, I'm probably taking up residence in Gitmo. Cheers!

That is all.

A good e-mail....

A friend sent this letter to me a couple of days ago, and I thought that I would share it with the two of you who read this thing. :)

A New Years Note to all my artistic friends:

It is really important as artists for us to remember that we each tend to be our own worst critic. Any outside criticism is only in addition to our own. It is sad that the value of art in modern society is so drenched in piss that we tend to cradle each positive stroke we get. "Starving artist" may have originally referred to lack of money to survive, but it is not food that we crave. We crave the process of creation, the practice, the release and the recognition. It may be recognition in the form of food or money or just one wink. But ultimately what each artist craves is already inside oneself and can need help to surface. This is why I feel it is crucial that artists support and foster each other. I'm not saying that criticism is not valuable. Constructively approached it can help challenge artists to dig deeper, try harder or find another way. And yes, of course, surround yourself with other artists who naturally trigger personal reflection in you.

Yesterday I stopped at a red light and this middle-aged guy was walking along the driver’s side of the cars in front of me. My first assumption was that he would ask me for money. I looked down to occupy myself with a sip of coffee only to raise my eyes just as he reached my car. We looked right at one another. And you know what he did? He wasn't asking for money... he pointed, smiled and winked at me as he passed in front of my car to the sidewalk. His eyes were friendly and his smile beaming wide. All I could do was grin back in impressed shock. He was purposely passing out good vibes as he walked along and loving it. When I had seen him motioning to the cars before mine, it was because he had something to share. He was happy. Hell, at that point if he had wanted money, I would have given him some dough just because of how fun that little encounter had been.

I mention this because I think it illustrates my point that whether we are artists in a community or just people living life, sometimes we need to be reminded that we shine, sometimes we need to help others shine and sometimes we just shine. Yes there is more hard work to life than the idealized "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" mentality. But because it can be such a cold, greedy world as we strive to grow, it is even more important that as artists we operate above it. This year I remind us to share of ourselves artistically with stated intention and clear purpose. If even for a moment you sense that another artist is down and doubtful of his or her artistic role in this society, talk with them. We are only fragmented if we allow it. From of a sense of camaraderie we build a whole and from this whole we break out stronger and more authentic than any single fallen leaf could ever be.

Originally I intended this note for a specific person, but as I wrote it I realized, we all need be reminded at times. I hope that this New Year brings each of you closer to where you want to be artistically and I challenge each of us to forge ahead this year clean of any lingering criticisms and full of fuel. I look forward to smiling, winking and pointing at you along the way.

Happy New Year!

Love,
Mel


That is all.

Should I be concerned?

...or just committed?

Your Depression Level: 96%

You seem to be severely depressed. You should seek immediate attention from your physician. Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.

Are You Depressed?

That is all.

I can't stop shaking right now. There's this lump in my throat and I am all alone. It's horrible. I've been trying to run for so long. And for what? I feel ill. How many times more can I run away from this awful thing in my past? Can't he just leave me alone? 7 years later, I'm still not whole. I was, and remain, broken.

I don't like the word "hate." I will use it colloquially: "I hate it when I wake up still drunk," for instance, or "I hate being run over by a wild pack of elephants," but there is no word strong enough for how I feel right now. I hate what happened. I hate him. I hate that I still feel like shit and like a victim after all this fucking time. I HATE it. I hate feeling like a mouse about to be pounced on, because that's what has happened.

I don't like feeling like I'm being played with. I cannot forgive and I cannot forget. I have been too trusting, too foolish in the past. I just want to be left alone. When a person doesn't call you back, doesn't respond to the note left on her car, doesn't try to reconnect, leave them alone. Really.

Jesus, it's only one week into the new year, and already, I hate it. I found out on New Year's Day that my cousin is getting shipped off to Iraq in Feb...to guard the convoys... I am terrified that I will never see him again. And this other asshole is apparently in the Navy... but stationed in Italy. I wish their places were reversed. I know that makes me a bad person, but I can't stop shaking, and I can't stop crying, and I can't stop feeling this way.

I going to go take a scalding hot shower and hope that denial will kick in already.... now, where's my steel wool?


That is all.