Misstate:

Pronunciation: "mis-'stAt
Function: transitive verb
: to state incorrectly

i.e.:


Also, in my last post, I erroneously left something out: the latest Taylor Hicks link!

And the link for this entry?

Right here!

That is all.

\/!@6R@

Normally, I don't advocate Fearless Leader's headlines-only approach to the news, but sometimes, a headline is all you need.
Case in point:
Limbaugh Held for Having Unprescribed Viagra.

Even Bob Dole can get a prescription for Viagra...

That is all.

And the #1 Reason to Just Say No! To Stagedoor:

I can't get a good martini in the Catskills to save my life!

So, I'm staying here, in Chicago. Facing unemployment FOR LIFE!!!
Because I am burning CDs right now for Bil's dad for Father's day, my computer is on a 3 second delay from when I type to when I see it appear on the screeen. So, I can't deal with blogging right now.... Gah!!! And that's why "screeen" has 3 e's above. So now you know what I am dealing with.

And because I cannot blog without him, here's the Taylor link of the day... click here -- it's a really good one...

That is all.

HELP!!!!!

Okay, readers, HELP! Please weigh in: I just got a job offer 2 months, $1800, in upstate New York, a place I may have worked before... Here's the dilemma:
Last summer, when I worked there, I did it for several reasons: 1)Money, 2)Escape from the Gap, 3)Escape insane roommates, 4)Work in theatre for $$$, 5)Hang out with the loverly Kimberly. It was 6 weeks, designing 4 shows and there was much insanity to be had. And let's not remind me because it was fucking crazy.
Chris (guy in charge of hiring) called me last night to see if I would be interested in coming up again this summer to stitch for them. No crazy directors to deal with, no designing, just kickin' back and stitching.

BUT

Here are the reasons why I need to stay home in Chi-town:

• Have to move very soon, but just across town at most, not across country


• Have to help Bil raise funds for the AIDS foundation of Chicago($3400!!!)


• Want to spend summer recouperating from exhausting year


• Want to enjoy summer evenings in a real city, not Loch Sheldrake, Bumfuck, New York


• Greater danger of tornadoes in Loch Sheldrake.


• No free lattes in Loch Sheldrake


• Have to deal with out-of-state taxes nonesense once again (3rd year in a row!)


• 2 words: STAGE KIDS


• Have to leave kitties behind

And here are the pros to those cons:

• Steady work for 8 weeks


• No temping/unemployemnt


• Get to hang out with Hannah, Todd and Carrisa


• Steady work for 8 weeks


• No dealing with directors this time around


• Have to leave kitties behind

Help me, please dear readers, I have bought myself some time -- I have to call Chris back tomorrow or the next day with an answer. Yikes!!!!!!! Please tell me what I need to hear...or read... whatever.

That is all......except for this.

That really is all.

Ann Coulter Gets Bitch-Slapped By Keith Olbermann

Seriously, this is a beautiful thing. And she's seriously uncorked. I still wish she had been a blowjob, but I digress.



Enjoy.

That is all.

My inner monologue could kick your inner monologue's ass!

I have these moments when I totally crack myself up.

For instance:
The battery on my cell phone doesn't stay attached anymore. I need a new one, but until I get around to it, the battery is held on by a rubber band. (Which doesn't always work so well, so incidentally, this is why I accidentally hang up on people all the time.)
So, I get out of work yesterday and I get in my car and turn on said sad cell phone so I can call Bil and tell him I'm on the way home before hanging up on him unintentionally. I should also inform you, dated readers, that my cell phone is 3 years old. I could have gotten a new one years ago, but why bother? I like my phone (except for the hanging up part...although that does have its uses.) My phone takes a while to turn on, so I set it in my lap and start driving home from Skokie, singing along with my favorite Idol's b-side. The music goes into an instrumental bit and I started talking to myself (something I do all too frequently in my car: I tell myself stories about how I "accidentally" ran into some famous person or another and they instantly fall in love with me despite my bad hair/crooked teeth/crappy skin/crooked eyes, etc., or I discuss with myself the merits of one performer over another, or I come up with really good retorts to bitchy things people have said to me--you get the idea). So I'm discussing--with myself--how I liked George Huff's American Idol cover way better than the bits of his gospel album that he later released. Out loud. Alone. In my car. Not entirely cognizant of the fact that this is slightly crazy. And I look down in my lap and see that not only is my phone now on, but that it's recording all of this as a voice memo.
Here, I'll replicate the transcript:
ME: Badly singing...."You will find him everywhere. Wherever people live together, tied in poverty and despair. . . --ing it to the streets. Taking it...taking it... Really bad growl
Talking now, over the music Yeah, I definitely think George Huff's better as an over-produced pop singer than as a less-than-throaty totally-unsexy gospel singer... Oh my God I'm recording thi-----!"
So, I erased it. Because there are so many things wrong with that voice memo. But it definitely cracked me up. So then I was a person sitting at a red light, laughing for no visible reason in my car, and telling myself all about how I totally embarrassed myself IN FRONT OF NO ONE.
Sanity's totally overrated.

That is all.

And now I have to pee.
That is all.

Is it morally reprehensible ...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Of Moving and Marathons (and a tryst????)

Found out a week ago that Bil and I have to move. Again. Because Sam Odisho, our landlord, wants to make our apartment building into condominiums. But he'll give us a good deal if we want to buy. To quote Clueless "As if!" I have lived in 5 states since June of '04 (California, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, New York, and Illinois) and I am fucking tired of moving. Thankfully, this will be, at most, an across-town move, not an across-country move, but regardless I am a cross girl moving. I guess I won't be finishing my dining room after all. Alas.
Also, in breaking news, now, Bil is just not jealous. I keep trying to incite jealousy and, yes, perhaps a little rage in the man, but all efforts have fallen flat. I have told him that come hell or high water, I will have a secret rendezvous with an older man (preferably a gray-haired soul singer with bad dance moves), but to no avail. He just blinks at me and goes to sleep. Maybe he's having secret rendezvous(es) (what is the plural of "rendezvous"?) with benevolent gray-haired soul singers with bad moves also? Dare I suspect a tryst? In reality, no. Aside from the moving debacle, there is very little drama in our personal lives. (How can there be much drama when one sees one's husband for 1/2 an hour every day?) And back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Alas. Bil is running a marathon. For the AIDS Foundation of Chicago. A brief tangent: the fact that AIDS is an acronym means that it is permanently capitalized, and therefore scarier than, say, cancer. Also the fact that it's un-curable. But the capitalization of a word that, when not used in the scary low/no-T-cells-STD type of manner, means "to give assistance" is somehow very sad to me. /Endtangent. Therefore, let's aid Bil's efforts to raise money and awareness for research and education about AIDS. Be forewarned, you will be getting a desperate plea from both myself and Bil to make donations to this cause. He's running in 6 months and 2 days...in Hawai'i.
In other news that's not really news, I still hate the Republicans and their fear- and hate-mongering tactics. And, yes I know this is hypocritical to hate them for hate-mongering. I do not understand how my family can continue to support such a party and still claim to be moral and just human beings. I'm not going to start another half-assed rant here about how destructive they are and how they are hammering a giant-ass wedge into the middle of the people("A house divided against itself...") and how we are a country of inclusion by nature and yet we are allowing these bastards to attempt to exclude certain groups from basic inalienable rights, and "...give me your tired, you poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..." and all of that. Instead, I'm hunkering down and watching Lewis Black say it all better than I could in his newest special "Red, White and Screwed" on Saturday night. Respectfully, fuck you, Mr. President. And fuck you, Rove, and Rumsfeld, and Ashcroft, and Cheney and all of your fucking cronies. Fuck you. Because you are the exact things that we as Americans are against. Free country indeed.
We will never be free until... what? I googled this quote and here are the answers:
We will never be free until...

• "...each and every American is guaranteed the right to vote in a reasonable time frame..."
  
• "...we are free of that kind of control that limits our ability to state exactly what we think and what we feel."
  
• "... we heal and forgive."
  
• "... we are independent of France."
  
• " we can park our individual beliefs to tackle the greater challenge of what is good for society and others, and supplant our own..."
  
• "...we own our bodies."
  
• "...the intellectuals--the natural molders of public opinions--have been converted to the side of ..."
  
• "...we stop it."
  
• "...we learn to share with others."
  
• "...our brothers and sisters, until our forgotten American allies in the jungles of Laos are free."
  
• "...the world is ruled by Islamic Law!"
  
• "...We Focus on Building Wealth"
  
• "...we can fuck like dogs in the street..."
  
• "...we accept the responsibility that has been given us in dealing with souls..."
  
• "...the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest..."
  
• "...Palestine and Palestinians are free."
  
• "...the victims of that wealth are treated to freedom and justice."
  
• "...the govt falls..."
  
• "...we have the right to urinate in a total stranger's face at our favorite restaurant."
  

An interesting cross-section of beliefs on freedom. Pepe says that he will never be truly free until he can get as much love and attention as is possible from me, but only when he asks for it. I tried to explain about dependence and co-dependence and how that's not real freedom, but I don't think he heard me over the noise of purring.
I am scattered today...
That is all.

Can't seem to make this fit into my page nicely....

... so I'll post it instead. Ha.
I bring you songs that make me think of smoky bars and being up at 5:30 am for no fucking reason at all. Did I accomplish all the things I wanted to today? No. And now I have even more to do when I wake up way too late in the afternoon. Gah.

Get your own Flash MP3 Player

That is all.